Discover more from Adventures of Bad Hijabi
Religious Narcissism Disorder
Like Catholicism, I discovered that Islam is founded on misrepresentation
Some people will hate this essay. Some people will love this essay. Some will appreciate it for what I intend it. You are a grown up and you are responsible for your feelings and reactions to things you read. If you cannot face challenges to your paradigm as a person who follows the religion established by Muhammad please exit the document. You can live your best life never reading this essay if you wish to live in your religious world unchallenged and sheltered. Know yourself and take responsibility.
Okay, I warned you. Enter at your own risk beyond this point, I mean it.
I’m going to remind the offended that, unlike me, you have not left the religion of your birth and upbringing and made a choice to try on a new religion — I did that, not you. You cannot judge what you do not know. Most people lack the psychological fortitude to endure a conversion away from religion, this is my second time. In retrospect, I want to say that making a profound life choice through the lens of deep grief is not the wisest thing I ever did. Anyway, life is about learning + growing and so we err and we correct ourselves and then we get over ourselves and move forward. The New Testament called it The Prodigal Son, go look it up that’s a good lesson for the present day struggles. Most literature can be traced to Biblical themes, there is wisdom there. That’s the adventure of Bad Hijabi, doing a thing and then going off the path and correcting myself and moving ahead—only the details change from story to story, and with each adventure, I advance one level in the game of life. Everyone does what works for them, this is Adventures of Bad Hijabi, so it’s about me and my adventure with my Self.
Religion was always only meant to be a way to know the Self, because that is the only time g-d can be found, when we seek Him, when we reach for Him. You cannot hold water in your hands, reader. G-d is like this. Anyway, the journey is all part of the relationship with The Divine, Hashem, whatever we want to call it. I no longer think that Muhammad’s allah is g-d now that I have begun to read Ali Sina’s book. I think that Ali Sina has performed an accurate psychological profile of Muhammad and I understand that offends many. I practised nursing and I studied human behaviour, especially + mostly human insanity for many years, before ever trying out the Muslim thing — I cannot deny the scientific reality of the behaviour profile Sina presents. I do not worship religion and I never did. I will not begin now. This is 2023 and people have to hide their identities because religious narcissists lack the skill of self control and I really am done with that crap, okay? Anyone’s need to scare me betrays their weakness. You are weak if a 3K word essay I wrote makes you want to harm me, get a grip, okay? Homicidal freaks annoy me please get help.
Anyway moving on.
Over the past while, I don’t know when it began, maybe I always had this feeling, I began to think that The Most Beautiful and Perfect Human myth (of Muhammad) — for which Mohammaden extremists decapitate + terrorise + mass murder other people —must exist to mask some quite repugnant + unpalatable truth. Every beloved hero story told to me as a child story ended up covering up a sh1tty man — Edward VIII, Jimmy Savile, Louis Mountbatten … I could go on with a list of men the elders told us were heroes during my childhood and in reality these heroes behaved quite awfully and any time a trickle of awful oozed out the hero story got more insistent. Have you watched the Savile documentary on Netflix? The truth of Savile, to whom Thatcher wanted to give a knighthood by the way, upset many powerful people. Jimmy Fixed It for many English kids whilst he abused the most vulnerable almost unchecked. I would think that this could teach us something important about heroes?
Why does the world still need me to believe sh1tty men are good and will lead humanity to triumph and good for all creatures and life forms? Also, I fully grasp the power of The Satanic Verses book now for extremists and I love Rushdie even more for daring to write it when he did.
May I have the wisdom + courage to discern service to g-d from service to ego, Amen.
Historians tell us Muhammad used to withdraw to a cave, spending days wrapped in his thoughts. He heard bells ringing and had ghostly visions. He thought he was demon possessed, until his wife reassured him he had become a prophet. Convinced of his prophetic status, he was intolerant of those who rejected him, assassinated those who criticized him, raided, looted, and massacred entire populations. He reduced thousands to slavery, and allowed his men to rape their female captives. All of this, he did with a clear conscience and a sense of entitlement. He was magnanimous toward those who admired him, but vengeful toward those who did not. He believed he was the most perfect human creation and the universe's raison d'être. Muhammad was no ordinary man. He was a narcissist. Focusing on the "why" rather than the "what," this book unravels the mystique of one of the most enigmatic men in history.
—Ali Sina, Understanding Muhammad
Dear readers, your Bad Hijabi has had adventures. I will write about them in time. My latest adventure involves letting go of religion to stay with g-d. I cannot call myself a Muslim anymore. G-d does not exist there — religion never served as an end to me, only a means. Only narcissists use g-d to serve their egos. When g-d ceases to be even seekable in a religious atmosphere than I must leave the atmosphere and follow g-d. Most people do not do this, because ultimately religion serves ego and most people lack the devotion or courage to walk away from an entire segment of their life they built and cultivated to soothe ego. I have never understood staying in a dark place when light exists beyond what we can see, if only we just venture out. I do not like smokey bars and I do not like tribal communities where the air reeks of narcissism and tribal apathy. Anyway, I think 10/7 has provided us an opportunity to change things for humanity. Each of us can do that internally, that’s the work.
My lesson for you, reader, is that you can admit you made a mistake and you can correct your path and you can live your best life — you can do the right thing without ego defense tactics. Just let go of what no longer serves the goodness. Imagine if you had an ileus and could not defecate. That’s a medical emergency and you could die if your bowel stops working. Do not take Imodium when you might have toxic mega colon. Spirituality is like your gut — release the kraken!
You can also not find g-d when your ego sh1ts everywhere.
The gut balances intake and output through the process of digestion and metabolism. The physical can teach us about the non physical. The entire point of everything centres around knowing g-d. To know Him I must know the world in which he chose placed me. The only way to the core is from the exterior, inward. Trojan Horse Self.
I have decided that most religious behaviour we observe in society exemplifies + signals mental illness and not piety + altruistic behaviour. I discern between the two by determining whether values motivates the faith based behaviour or whether ego does.
Religious Narcissism Disorder :: an affliction characterised by thoughts and feelings of religious supremacy that promotes + commands + inspires dehumanization + genocide + that fuels crimes against humanity globally
Religious Narcissism Disorder has brought untold suffering onto human societies for millennia. At a loss for a neutral and clinical description of religious supremacy that promotes dehumanization and genocide, I will go with Religious Narcissism Disorder (RND). Those afflicted with RND believe they have special favour from an all knowing all powerful entity that controls everything and knows all of humanity’s thoughts and future actions. RNDs belong to a tribe or a club and they attend regular meetings at a designated building for that purpose. Often the building has an architectural style that evokes power + glory, it’s part of the religious identity to feel emotionally stirred by the atmosphere cultivated to win over your mind. Those afflicted with RND adhere to strict codes of conduct that require followers + members to exclude certain humans based on character traits or membership in organisations, including other religious clubs and even lifestyle choices. RNDs feel entitled to inflict suffering on others who do not belong to their club and who oppose the mission of the club. RNDs will expel you from the tribe, or at the very least shun you, for choosing a lifestyle choice. RNDs war with each other like gangs do on the streets in any major metropolis around the world.
This sort of seems like The Borg to me.
That’s how I have come to see religion in the post 10/7 world. I view conquest religions cynically, I see now that they exist only to manipulate + control + hurt people. I do not consider myself a Marxist however I agree with Marx, religion is the opium of the masses. It only ever should have been a way to know + see oneself, in the sense of Matt Lieberman’s Trojan Horse Self. However human beings will human and we find it easier to project onto and control others rather than control ourselves and admit the ways we erred + misjudged.
I really think we need to go back to calling Muslims Mohammedans because that reminds us that this cluster of humans who believe they practise a religion really worships the alter ego of a narcissistic psychopath who suffered from Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Let’s talk about why Muhammad’s slaughter of the Arabian Jews in the 7th century matters now in the 21st century. Let’s talk about why justifying the decapitation and disemboweling and stabbing and brutal torture of an entire civilisation of Jews, beheading men and taking their wives and sisters and kidnapping and raping them repeatedly 1400 years ago, matters now, about 5 weeks after the Simchat Torah Massacre, in the year 2023.
Apologists for Muhammad will tell you that the murdered tribes violated an agreement therefore they had it coming. They will look you in the eye and believe it when they tell you they feel nothing for the brutal slaughter of the Arabian Jews. I didn’t realise at the time, during my 5 year trial period of Muslim-ing, listening to “moderate Muslims” explain that brutal history away, that this weak and unsatisfactory explanation could have an entirely different taste and texture to my brain now than it did then. A couple years and a lot of death, including my mother’s death, can change everything for a person. Do others experience a spiritual upheaval when they lose their mothers? I did — the death of my parents completely unravelled my spiritual worldview. Anyway, aside from that I also see so many things through the Simchat Torah Massacre. I cannot unsee them.
I do not justify the slaughter of Cathars and I do not justify the slaughter of the Arabian Jews or any other peoples that Muhammad genocided because he demanded everyone affirm his delusions that he was a prophet from g-d sent to change the world. You must admit it sounds insane. Jesus always denied he was anything special in the Catholic stories and here we have Muhammad trotting around insisting he is the most perfect human and killing anyone who dares to disagree.
Are you okay?
That seems a bit Jim Jones to me, I don’t buy it on closer inspection. What value did Muhammad bring to the world? Moses brought the 10 commandments and The One G-d. Jesus brought The Golden Rule. Jesus didn’t fight anyone, he rejected political wars, is what I was taught as a child. Jesus was the persecuted victim in his story and Muhammad was the abuser who got away with it in his story — that’s how I see it now in light of Hamas and the way Islamists truly do see the Quran. What did Muhammad bring the world except genocide and terror? Maybe Muslims can distill down to a value what Muhammad added to what Judaism and Catholicism had already by that time established.
Anyway, Muhammad believed he had struck a deal with the local tribe, the Quraysh. The Quraysh would not fight any of Muhammad’s rivals and they could all live together in harmony, according to the Constitution of Medina. A guy, an orphan who never accomplished much in life, and who spends most of his time in a cave having weird muscle spasms and bizarre terrifying painful visions thinks he is possessed by the devil and his wife tells him shhh you’re a prophet from g-d so he decides to trot around town telling everyone and getting really mad when they dismiss him as a nutter. He decides he is in charge of everyone now and lets others exist if they agree to his new arrangement of world domination. That’s the Bad Hijabi summary of that early history.
Muhammad just decided he should run the show because he had a scary experience in a cave and he craved attention because his early childhood made him emotionally stunted and psychologically damaged. His new found identity as a prophet from g-d entitled him to tell everyone they suck their religion sucks and that his allah knows best and is the only thing that will save everyone and allah said he could steal their sh1t they should just deal and get over it. Muhammad continued to disparage the local religion and to encourage his followers to incite social disruption. He raided caravans for supplies to support his cult of banditry and pillaging and he preached that holy jihad entitled his followers to loot and pillage because it was for allah. The locals tolerated him because his uncle had a lot of respect in the community.
The Quraysh grew tired of the continued narcissistic abuse of the Mohammedans and the terrorism that cost the society its economic stability. They decided to challenge Mohammad on all the looting and banditry that had destroyed business and created social chaos. Muhammad excused the behaviour by invoking the excuse of the treaty — historical sources doubt the veracity of the claims that The Constitution of Medina even existed. Remember that narcissists move the goal posts to evade accountability and that seems like a plausible explanation here. Also, consider that there’s a reason why Muhammad preached to his followers to assume the best of people — because then he could brainwash them to overlook his obvious derangement. That’s a cult leader tactic. Muhammad incited his followers to kill the Quraysh by accusing them of plotting his murder. Before Mohammad several Jewish tribes lived in Arabia, he let some go initially (not without stripping them of their possessions and wealth of course) and he outright slaughtered others and eventually all Jews in Arabia died violently by Mohammadenism.
Safiyyah Huyyay, a young Jewess (aged 17) and daughter of the head of a Jewish tribe in Arabia, became one of Mohammad’s wives after Mohammad tortured and decapitated her father and husband and brothers and all her male relatives and then raped her. Mohammad died only a few years after killing Saffiyah’s family, raping her and forcing her to marry him and he forbade his wives to marry even after his death and as a result she lived a very lonely life, denied the possibility of motherhood and a family because Mohammad was an abusive narcissist. Sh1tty men have always existed and somehow they have always hoodwinked society into giving them a hero platform so they can infect minds with their verbal diarrhea. Maybe it’s time we dispense with heroes if we refuse to scrutinize them. Maybe it’s a good thing we don’t know anything about the daily life of the man named Jesus because maybe the narratives would reveal him to be a sh1tty man too. The Vatican sealed off the Borgia apartments for nearly 400 years because of the shame the House of Borgia brought to the Catholic Church. Humans would rather hide their shameful behaviours than expose them to sunlight I suppose.
The Hagia Sophia should have become a church and not a mosque, that would have shown the world that Mohammadans want to play nice and stop committing narcissistic abuse in the name of their deity everywhere they go. In my lifetime Sin Fein and the IRA laid down their arms, I challenge Mohammadens to rise up to the challenge and do the same.
A final word to anyone who takes offense to this very blunt essay. Your reaction belongs to you and it could serve as your doorway to discovery, are you up to that challenge? That’s a you thing not a me thing, dear reader. What if the need to make anyone an embodiment of divine perfection isn’t a desire to know g-d? Maybe it’s your crack rock and you are responsible for seeing to your crack addiction like I have seem to mine. Straight talk from Bad Hijabi.
I am not responsible for the difficult emotions of anyone who reads this. You are responsible for your reaction to anything you read.
Adventures of Bad Hijabi is a reader-supported publication. I document and track extremism with a focus on anti semitic extremism + the roots of Muslim hatred of Jews. I am tracking the Canadian pro Palestinian non profit proxies for terror organizations right now. To support my work consider a paid subscriber.