Wisdom For 2020

14 truths to live by

1. No one cares. Everyone is self-interested and no one will be there when you need them. This is a universal truth. You are it—God and you. There is no one. Anyone who says they will be there is lying. No one will save you. But you.

2. Compassion is first for you. Replace judgement with curiosity. Replace the voices in your head that berate and diminish you with kindness. The stories we tell ourselves are the most damaging.

3. If you judge others you are projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto others. You are telling us so much about how you loathe yourself and disbelieve in Bismillah when you cruelly judge and diminish others.

4. If you don't stand up for your values then you are nothing but a poser and a hypocrite.

5. Opposing something isn't good enough. What darkness you try to suppress grows. What do you stand for—know that and commit to it.

6. You don't know anything. The more you know the more you realise you know fcuk all.

7. Family is not sacred. They are flawed humans and no family is worth diminishing your humanity and having to accept abuse.

8. Your children owe you nothing. You owe them everything. They didn't ask to be born. You had sex and procreated. Therefore you owe them your life.

9. Your parents will die and then you will know awful truths you could not have imagined and that you cannot begin to comprehend. And you will be alone. And no one will give a fcuk about your existential pain. There is nothing you can do about this. You will have regrets. It will be hellish.

10. Not every broken relationship can be mended and this doesn't mean you don't love that person. Some things are meant to remain broken to remind us of how flawed we are and how vulnerable the human condition makes us. And to teach us mercy and patience.

11. Your parents did the best they could. If you don't believe this now you will one day. When you raise children you will know. And it will hurt you. Because your children will hold things against you even though you did the best you could.

12. Pain is a call to action. Despair is a sin. Resentment is a refractory tunneling wound, also a slow death by poison. Fear is constipating and paralyzing. Emotions are physical and physiologic.

13. The DSM and psychiatric diagnostics are the work of arrogance. They are not evidence-based or scientific. Psychiatry is predicated on catholic philosophy, such as that of Descartes and Augustine. There is no mind-body dichotomy. Descartes was wrong. Van Helmont was right.

14. Trauma is the most widespread contagion threatening humanity and the planet. Our inability to master emotional intelligence is killing the planet and humanity.