What The Hell is Going On?
What The Hell is Going On?
human beings are unfathomable abysses
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Hello. What the hell is going on? I’ve spent the past 4 months trying to figure out the answer to this question and I have no answer—still. I really had nothing to say, could not bring myself to add to the din of voices clamouring to be heard in the chaos of everything. Things just continue to play out super whack in all areas of my existence. It’s ok, I solider on and find joy in what’s around me. I have figured out a few things in my silence, and pondered the wisdom underlying vows of both silence and poverty and of the inner resolve one can receive from holding back in a manner that is holding oneself together and away from the world in the form of fasting and veiling the ego. I feel like the world might need another barbed-wire ranty essay, Roxanne-style. However, today this isn’t that, which continues its incubation process inside my brain—I like to write those pieces in character for the best impact, and today my nervous system isn’t in that fight state-place.
I do have something meaningful to say though. So that follows, some of it in point form.
You lose credibility as a medical/population health scientist or clinician when you support and affirm gender fanatics who promote chemical castration and endocrine lobotomising as therapeutic and even a suicide prophylactic for children. This seems as obvious to me as the keyboard I’m typing these words into, however the media narrative tries desperately to convince us otherwise—they almost make Donald Trump seem like a kooky prophet with his fake news mantra. The legacy media, mainstream media—whatever we are calling it these days—has faked us out and really, it sort of always has done, hasn’t it? Maybe you only see that as you age. They just got sloppy about their craft when they decided to prioritise bleeding heart criteria and not rigour and skill and performance in hiring.
Hands up, who’s getting tired of being compared to a nazi, a eugenicist, a genocider, a selfish and bad person, [insert slur here]— for wanting to get on with life sans repressive, punishing and traumatising public health mandates (the efficacy of which have waned btw) including forced spike protein injections and covid niqabs? It’s a niqab, a religious symbol, not an infection control barrier at this point, thanks to progressives who make everything a religion because they need Jesus or Yoga or disk golf or a hobby or something other than to worship their own mediocre ego-projected constructs.
Are they teaching in med or population health school that emotional abuse can constitute good primary health care provision if you tell yourself you have noble intentions? How is shaming and insulting people in a bid to coerce them to choose your way/side/tribe providing care? How does emotional abuse constitute ethical public health or medical care? You know we can go to church/temple/synagogue/mosque/tent revival meeting for that kind of sanctimony y’all are delivering, right? And that there, at least we might get free coffee or snacks or warms socks or a new testament or a Quran or something in exchange for the sermon, whereas y’all are just capitalists with not inexpensive respirator masks and not inexpensive progressive-approved single-used-plastics rapid Covid tests and those fancy bling toys to measure air particles you think we should drop $150 to have.
Nah, I’m not joining your cult. If I’m dropping $150 it’s gonna be for talk buttons for my cats, not to measure particles in the air, okay? I’m a reasonable, open-minded person who has read about Sars-Cov-2. Who did all the things, including KN95s and hermit style social distancing. Who has a congenital form of dysautonomia (related to a gastric outlet obstruction and Asperger’s autism) that’s intensified by viral illnesses. Who has asthma. Who got Flu for a month over Christmas, then Covid right after. Where’s my prize b1tches, hahaha?
I’ve also got a measure of emotional intelligence, which is why I’m not interested in your Covid S&M Cosplay RPG. Or any race to the bottom to win the hardship olympics. The quirks and limitations my physiology impose upon me aren’t an identity, ie a thing I can use to get attention. They’re annoying and frustrating and I keep them to one side and live my life like I always have. So what? It doesn’t make me special. It certainly doesn’t give any so called expert the right to terrorise me or anyone on my behalf, which is what the narrative resembles now—a stream of terror to keep people dysregulated and distracted.
Anyway, I have several TARDIS’s around my flat and I’m sure I could get a sonic screwdriver for much less than what your fancy bling-thing costs. I am taking the piss deliberately, cuz that’s what this fear manipulation deserve—mockery. I simply will not be emotionally manipulated or gaslit by religious fanatics who have adopted Covid and public health and now dysautonomia as the vehicles through which they shall deliver their brand of extremism.
That doesn’t mean I don’t care or that I see no risk from Sars-Cov-2, far from it. Life still goes on, grow up. I care a great deal, which is why I say life goes on. I’m tired of carrying your projected identities and other baggage—that’s your sh1t you carry it. The problem with identity is it demands that everyone else carry your sh1t and garbage and I simply refuse to do this anymore. Progressives make everything an identity, now covid too by means of mitigation mandates. Progressives muddy the waters, making it very frustrating, tedious and time consuming to tease out fact from propaganda and emotional manipulation and coercion. THIS IS HOW EMOTIONAL ABUSERS WEAR DOWN THEIR TARGETS FYI.
Let’s talk facts now. I checked the data yesterday. R value nationally < 1 and stable, so why do we need FEDERAL mandates? Why can’t federal policy resources be mobilised to support the problematic pockets where R > 1 and rising? Isn’t that the role of the federal government, to support and enhance provincial policy measures?
Also why aren’t we pushing Corsi-Rosenthal boxes, which would equal the clean air playing field for those who living in shared air dwellings? Why aren’t we shaming industry into being mass genociders for failing to come up with filtration and ventilation technology and infrastructure that would protect us from airborne pathogens? Why are we pretending mask sharia is the only solution to mitigating the effects of Sars-Cov-2? Why is working class Fran who went to the store without a mask to buy lunch meat for her husband’s lunches responsible for those 52 infants having tested positive for Covid, and not the owner of the building that houses the store and the company who build the ventilation system in the building and the company who maintains it? Can someone explain all that to me like I’m 5?
More humans have died from drug ODs than Covid in BC. Yeah, REMEMBER THAT OTHER PANDEMIC? Where is your widespread emotional abuse accusing everyone of genocide for not demanding a safe drug supply or an evidence based solution to addiction and harmful drug use? Oh, that’s different, oh okay. Blah blah blah lobster cakes choice. Yeah I CHOSE to combust a rock of toxic chemicals that nearly killed me with bacterial pneumonia and could have stopped my heart at any time through steel wool stuffed in a glass tube into my lungs whilst standing in the middle of a dark piss-infested alley, it wasn’t because I was trying to SURVIVE deep grief of losing a son and other accumulated trauma or anything, nah I definitely chose to be there hahaha. LOL. Just like anyone who got Covid CHOSE to get it cuz they chose to breathe that air. Again, LOL. Blaming the suffering for their suffering simply makes you an asswipe. And—classist much?
Not everyone can conduct truly airborne precautions, again this is largely class. Anyone who is homeless, living in an SRO, a multifamily dwelling situation, or apartment towers and townhomes does not have access to airborne precautions because those are shared air domicile situations. We can’t smoke in those places precisely for those reasons! The air is shared—there are no airborne precautions happening, not truly. We aren’t wearing masks at home, so don’t even go there. Also, a general mask mandate is unenforceable—we simply lack the political will in Canada to place armed police on the streets to enforce a moral dress code—people come here to get away from that, remember??
In half a millenium or more, we have not been able to remove class as an obstacle to achieving equal public health for all, Foucault wrote about the inhumane response to plague and biopower and I really don’t see that much has changed from how we behaved toward each other historically and how we behave presently in the face of a pandemic/plague situation. Elites simply create and devise new distraction techniques to turn our attention away from the class struggle.
Wearing a mask is unnatural—please at least admit the hardship it presents for people—it has all sorts of cultural associations to unsafe situations, it prevents us from seeing facial expression and reading cues we may need to assess threat level—these are real cues and factors for our nervous system. Not to mention many need to see lips to be able to converse with others and masking prevents that. We are walking nervous systems underneath all this flesh and construct. Telling me blah blah blah lobster cakes such and such country does masking and this and that measure why can’t we do that here is not adding constructively to the discussion—we are HERE now, not there.
Look, telling people they are inadequate and sh1tty because they don’t or won’t live up to your arbitrary measure of collective morality really reflects on your failure to move those people to see your argument! THE FAILURE OF THE STUDENT TO LEARN IS THE FAILURE OF THE TEACHER TO TEACH. That’s a basic fundamental.
Personal boundaries are not hateful when you decide you don’t like them. Competent adults have the right to make choices about what happens to their body. (Just the same as all humans have the right to be in a space free from humans of the opposite reproductive class—yes it’s necessary to specify that because progressives need everything spelled out for them like pre-operational children do). Telling someone they are a danger to society because they breathe indoor air is different than telling someone that operating a motor vehicle makes them a danger. This took me a while to whittle down, however there it is.
This is what the Freedom Convoy tribe holds onto—and can you blame them when progressive go out of their way to express as many dehumanising associations as they can to describe this particular group of people? PUT YOUR SPECTRAL MINDSET ASIDE BECAUSE I GUARANTEE THAT YOUR SH1T STINKS TOO. We are all human. What can we do to understand those with whom we disagree? How can we build a bridge? Progressives are great at destruction, at blowing up bridges. I could use a WW2 analogy about which side of the European military conflict blew up bridges but I’m going to resist that urge because I know clever readers are already there.
Do you really believe humans are a menace and danger because they breathe air? Is that where we find ourselves today? As someone who has survived attempts to kill me, I could be justified in thinking this and yet I don’t—I really cringe at this poisonous, misanthropic mindset. I feel like we might be LARPing The Machine Stops, that story by E.M. Forster in which people have been coerced by a fear cult to live in underground pods separate from one another and never seeing the earth’s surface.
The challenge we face as Canadians is the enormous vast landscape—it carves itself into the human nervous systems who live on/in/with/across it. In our smug passive aggressive manner, we have been reasonably good at remembering what binds us together in a mosaic tapestry and now some Dark Triad characters seek to exploit the weaknesses in the fabric’s integrity, pitting difference against difference, repressing uncomfortable truths, gaslighting and lying, and cancelling and banning anyone who disobeys. It feels like some whacked out fanatical secular rendition of Catholicism from a thousand years ago with shades of Lysenkoism crossed with that particularly reactive stuck trauma response which creates drama and imbalance chaos because stillness and balance feel too threateningly uncomfortable. This present dystopian reality is like that—feels like being forced to ride a rollercoaster version of these peoples’ subconscious—think Inception on acid.
Anyway, finally. I will use a metaphor to describe my thoughts about the NDP version of Faust and the Devil. I think that the NDP have behaved like a pre-operational child in negotiating with malignant narcissist and minority PM Justin Trudeau—they gave up a dime when they backed ‘self ID’ laws and ‘gender identity’ conversion therapy bans and accepted a penny in exchange for their current no-election-til-2025-sychophantry to Prime Minister Dress-up (sorry for the insult Ernie Coombs I love you, RIP) and I can’t really cheer that.
Female people can no longer have sex segregated spaces in Canada because of a thing called gender (can’t exclude the males who identify as women now can we, that would be hateful) and to be honest I don’t see how that’s different from the requirement of a male guardian for female people in Islamist regimes. They call it modesty here we call it 4th wave feminism, it looks the same from where I sit TBH. There’s no negotiating with a malignant narcissist, any trauma survivor can tell you that. Yet, now a cabal of malignant narcissists run everything.
As far as the dental plan carrot/bribe goes, programs to help low income Canadians afford dental care have existed at the provincial level for years and the federal government has chosen not to tap into existing infrastructure to fund them despite having had plenty opportunity and invitation to do so over time. Dental is a provincial responsibility. Suddenly now we need a new federal thing though? Why? Because magpies love shiny things and new things are the shiniest things of all.
Clinics in DTES and low income concentrated areas across Canada struggle, and non-profit organisations on the ground have, for decades, been living a spartan existence trying to provide dental care to low income people in need. When I lived for a brief time in Abbotsford, I witnessed a faith-based community raising funds to provide dental care, even a set of J-Lo style dentures, for those in need. Where has any federal government been all this time? And who will pay for this new plan—how will this work out fiscally? It’s interesting how those who promote recycling and reuse and reduction need to make a new thing rather than find ways to build on the existing things to support those who have unmet need. But okay, we progressive like that—SHHHHhhhhhhh.
Considering that the NDP backs an end to free expression in the form of so called hate speech and internet muzzle laws, I don’t feel particularly hopeful or happy about the current state of political affairs in Canada. Seeing how feminists advocating for constitutional and human sex-based rights have been defamed by misogynist progressive extremists weaponising hate, I no longer back this kind of blanket hate legislation that designates a victim, ie a group we infantalise and for which we reduce accountability, erects legislation to protect said group, and then calls that anti hate. This feels like blasphemy laws to me, so harsh pass on that. Yet, this is how extremist progressives have chosen to manipulate hatred, to serve their own elite self interest and/or ego. As someone who grew up dealing with hatred, that don’t impress me much.
Where are the Level 5 Leaders?
I have no big fancy conceptually storyboarded idea of where this space is headed. I keep trying to find my sweet spot and I want to be sure I’m being me here, Bad Hijabi, not what I think I need to be, or others require me to be for them, and that’s challenging. However a grrl needs to eat, right? And here we are, then. So I will just write to the title Adventures with Bad Hijabi. Ideally I would like myself to write daily here and incorporate my illustrations while I decide how to proceed with larger projects, especially and including Bacha Bazi. Idk.
Anyway, one thing is certain—I’m baaaaaack.