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Our D1cktopian Reality
welcome to the era of small d1ck energy
Welcome to D1cktopia, where saying stupid sh1t like the first liberal was named Lucifer, or smoke em out, or we love death, gets you a lifetime VIP membership to the D1ckbaggery Club. OKAY, what does any of that even mean? As far as I can surmise, nothing really (it’s verbal diarrhea, can we call it that?) it just exudes small d1ck energy and the hyper-masculine religious d1cktopians, in particular, eat that sh1t up. Just spend 10 minutes on Twitter, or spend an hour reading about global political conflicts happening right now—it’s all small d1ck energy. Just look at all these bearded muppets, who in all their d1ckery, take up the mantle of [insert name of cause here] to save the world.
Yes, I feel so much safer now that the bearded mob of morons who doesn’t know basic facts about material reality has decided to save us all. Ok, pretend some of those beards are invisible if you need to. Yeah, we are all safer with a brigade of d1ck-wagging idiots clucking around preaching all about how perverts + sexual predators need love + acceptance too. Won’t someone think of the minor attracted persons + the rapists? Safeguarding is so hateful + invalidating.
Yeah, we are all safer with a brigade of medieval d1cktopian religious fascists denying all girls + women education + employment opportunities, treating us like children + assigning us to guardianship, or enslaving us to gestate their babies, or solving the problem of the gay with sex reassignment surgery. Yeah, we are all safer with a brigade of emotionally stunted hyper-masculine reality television thugs possessing enough incendiary explosive power to destroy all of humanity and the planet with it. Yeah, we are all safer with a ridiculous global cult of d1ckbaggery which has amassed more ways to divide + destroy humans than to unite + save them. Yeah we are all safer with a band of d1ckwagging Machiavellians weaponising religious fanaticism in some deranged psychotic geopolitical empire games.
Can someone tell the blokes this isn’t a large-scale, LARP of Sid Meier’s Civilization? Cuz I have this feeling these clowns think they’re playing a game of entire societies. A universal reality designed by Quentin Tarantino, H.S. Thompson, Alfred Hitchcock, Tim Burton, and Fredrico Fellini would look like this weirdness we’re calling right now!
Seriously though, let’s examine the chaos of the world through a D1cktopian lens.
Russia-Ukraine | Growing sociopolitical authoritarianism masquerading as safety | The ultimate d1ckbag cult — The Holy See | Israel-Hamas | The Ayatollah’s Regime | The Gulf Region of Arab Tyrants | The American Military Industrial Cult + American Christian Fascism | Pan-Islamism and the Mullah d1ckbag brigade | Hyper-masculine Islamism | The Taliban | The House of Saud | Pakistan | Modi + Hindutva | The Global Covid Fear Cult | Antifa becoming anarchist | The global cult of gender self-ID that puts rapists in female prisons | Silicon Valley turning panopticon-Big-Brother-is-watching-you | the destruction of the environment | the global crisis of displaced persons
Welcome to the Global D1cktopian HQ. You won’t find the secret location on any map, complex spells cast by the D1cktopian High Wizard Council of Hyper-masculinity protect the structure from prying eyes and would be (read: female) invaders. When you enter the grand palatial room of D1cktopian Phallic Glory, a massive wall mural announces in giant block lettering the D1cktopian HQ Mantra women are currency. Think of it as the Woody Wall, where d1ckbags go to bask in the glory of their phallic fantasies.
The D1cktopian MANifesto
It’s all about men all the time
Violence and force are the answer to life, the universe + everything
Men’s feelings matter more than women’s lives
Educating girls + women is dangerous for men
A man who rejects machismo culture isn’t allowed to be a man
Bullying + stalking are the only ways to convince women to see your POV
Safeguards that exclude men are invalidating + hateful
Women exist entirely to service + glorify men
Women cannot have any more space than men allow them
Blame women for everything — women’s existence literally offends men
Bad Hijabi thoughts on the first Thursday of the 2023 :: make music + sing to cats | hang out with dogs cuz they are very cool | what if the internet is actually powered by cats?
It’s okay to be different, as long as you’re good at it! ❤️🔥
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I want to end this by thanking all the compassionate, fierce, gentle, steadfast, wise, patient, morally courageous men who every day show up in their lives to challenge the D1cktopian Cult of D1ckbaggery. I see you, I love you—mates, you are my people.