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Notes on Awfulness
and why we don't need any labels for feeling awful
I feel awful today. It’s not depression. It’s not anxiety. It’s not whatever other bastardisation of stupid DSM labels pop culture tries to slap on sadness. I feel inert. It’s not laziness, it’s inertia. What’s the difference? Lazy is an unkind judgemental call. Inertia is the nervous system regulating itself. Feeling awful is just like anything else. It’s a factual reality, not a moral crisis. I don’t need therapy. I don’t need some self appointed expert or licensed professional to save me. That’s just so ridiculously western to say I need therapy. Jeezuz, no one is coming to save our asses. We are it.
Even for those of us who do believe in God, God helps those who help themselves. That means staying with yourself and remaining embodied when you feel like a bag of sh1t and want nothing more than to run away. It’s that simple, stay with yourself. Move through the world and stay with yourself. Listen to yourself. The answer is within. Yes, we have to reach through the darkness that’s festered inside us and dust off that light and be that light. There isn’t an easy button. The only way around is through. Just keep walking into yourself. Just keep digging. Play. Have fun. Laugh. Run. Jump. Dance. This is the work of living. Work with the darkness. Work through the darkness. There is no other way.
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