America Why Do You Hate Kids So Much?

a look at the gender war

It’s been a while life is weird and punctuated by reattachments and ruptures. My mother has been dead an entire year now. I keep the sound of her voice close to my heart and I retreat to a hot bath when I feel like there is no warmth left in the world so I can feel like I am in some kind of womb. I have learned that I can be the afflicted and the comforter.

I wanted to write about why I think the gender war is a load of crap place-holding for stuff we would rather not deal with at this time. This is why I am no longer calling myself Gender Critical, and haven’t for a while.

Guns are the leading killer of kids in America, and here we are fighting over drag shows. — Bessel van der Kolk, Boston Trauma Conference

Governor Abbot writes and speaks about protecting children from abuse in Texas. Yet he sends children into classrooms and into the wider community of his state, which is the American leader in child deaths by gun violence. Guns are the leading cause of death in American children. Texas leads the pack by miles. Despite clear evidence to contrary, Abbot and his NRA friends insist on their silly meaningless mantra guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Can I point out that this sounds just like the trans women are women mantra does in any debate with progressives about women’s rights? It sounds ridiculous + dogmatic + egotistical.

So, Abbot says kids cannot make life-altering decisions, and yet he forces them to do just that with his gun culture — a year after the largest mass shooting in Texas history, families do not feel like the state prioritises their child’s safety. So, Texas sends kids home from school with a book that features Winnie the Pooh teaching kids about gun safety — this is child safety? In addition to using a beloved children’s character to promote gun culture to children, the state of Texas has forced children into the very developmental setting it argues against — making them responsible for + in life-altering circumstance + decisions. Four hundred children have died so far this year in Texas because of gun violence, according to the Gun Violence Archives.

Governor Abbot + the GOP want you to know they care about kids + child safety by banning drag shows for minors.

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I spent some time researching the American states with the worst Gifford gun control scorecards, then plotted gun deaths under 18 for those states, status of gun legislation (open carry, permit, loosening or tightening), and anti-trans legislation.¹ The correlation between sh1tty gun control laws and harsh anti-trans laws exists. I added a column for abortion laws/bans too, as an after thought. My purpose was to show :: banning abortion, sex education, and drag shows for kids and widening access to guns is a religious fascist agenda not a child safety agenda. It looks like republicans like to ban everything except guns, the number one killer of American kids. Click the button below to see the spreadsheet for yourself.

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Are kids developmentally equipped to participate in a school shooting drill? Are kids developmentally equipped to wrap their heads around the threat of gun violence they face just being kids in the state of Texas? Are children cognitively and emotionally equipped to make an important decision about something that has not yet happened? No they aren’t —this is the argument advanced by conservatives for banning gender affirming care in minors (and it is a valid one), so surely it carries weight when advancing arguments for stricter gun control?

Do we only care about kids when we want to convince people to oppose a thing? You know, because the progressives will sing you lamentations about how they love kids blah blah save trans kids gender affirming care saves lives blah blah horsesh1t and then they will lie to your face and tell you that children who exhibit symptoms of mental illness will die from suicide unless they receive chemical castration chemotherapy (the same given to pedophiles) and unless they undergo elective experimental surgery on their genitalia as well mastectomy surgery to carve a male chest into a woman’s mammary glands. And Republicans will wax eloquent about child safety and then convince you it’s why they agree with an abortion ban and then pretend they don’t hear you when you ask them how persecuting Caitlin Bernard for giving a 10 year old an abortion promotes child safety.

The GOP loves guns more than kids and the DNC loves pharmaceuticals more than kids and each hates each other more than they love kids. The GOP + DNC each hate each other so much they will lie about important facts, even if that will harm kids.

Won’t someone think of the narrative?

What does this mean?

It means antagonism drives social momentum in America. It means opposition drives change in America. It means problems take up all the oxygen in the room and solutions live in permanent anoxia. It means the freedom-loving GOP have passed a fcuk-tonne of silly laws to compensate for a culture of peer orientation and sh1tty ego-driven parenting and square eyes. It means Christians still cannot see how the dualistic Original Sin theory they deep-throated onto humanity has come to hurt humans and the planet. It means Americans refuse to pass rational laws that would save the lives of children. It means we are seriously having this debate around the world now that say saying the words humans cannot change sex could be genocidal.

Why is this happening? Because America is that spoiled child who decides what the entire world will have, whether we like it or not. And right now the pseudo-anti-capitalist decolonisation is the new black tolerance is everything progressive Americans are leveraging the sh1t out of corporate America to deep throat their queer and anti-family vision of humanity to all, whether we want it or not. We will all be decolonised, resistance is futile.

So, America, why do you hate kids so fcuking much? Yes, you do. You all hate kids.

The Dems, the Republicans — you’re all imposters on the battlefield of gender.

Ever since the incident with the Tier 3 Sex Offender in the gender critical community, I have come to see familiar events with fresh eyes. The narrative mattered more than anything else. The precious narrative about safeguards mattered more than the safeguards themselves did. Evidence of the Tier 3 Sex Offender’s participation nicely erased, I am supposed to shhhhhh and move on because there are bigger things at play here. Actions speak louder than words I was told when Tier 3 guy was removed. Yes, the action of Tier 3 guy being in that situation in the first place speaks louder than you telling me you removed him. What’s that? Oh right, your narrative. The precious narrative.

My Precious.

I dgaf about your narrative, okay? Not when you trot out a Tier 3 Sex Offender like he is some morally superior Jesus hero who wants to save kids and then refuse to have the conversation about how that happened when you find out his criminal past. Raping minors and deliberately infecting people with a terminal illness isn’t just a thing that happened 25 years ago. Accountability is for you too, not simply a thing you demand from others. Trust is yours to earn, not mine to give without very good reason. I have no reasons to give trust, I had few to begin with.

I remember being the little girl who was violated in the front seat of a Chevrolet and knowing that other people mattered more than what happened to me because they were older and had suffered more and a bunch of other stuff that a kid gets and doesn’t want to get. Anyway, no one cared about safety. They didn’t care about violations if they weren’t being physically harmed themselves. Adults forget about kids when they are adulting, kids are barely human inconvenient truths. The good grrl only wants to be good anyway and never be bad and so shhhhhh, don’t upset the apple cart. They only cared about their fcuking narrative. Shhhhhh. We cannot upset the narrative — family is important, no matter what.

So the abuser got away with it when I was a kid and some angry adults blamed me rather than held the adult male accountable and I never talked about it because it made my mum feel bad to talk about how I was abused by an adult male family member of hers and she had to choose and it wasn’t fair for her to choose and I felt bad for her having to choose so I carried the trauma and no one did anything to help me carry it and I did that so she wouldn’t have to choose an uncomfortable and impossible choice.

So, shhhhhh. Stop talking about the bad men who paw children. It’s inconvenient.

We don’t want to hear about them and we certainly do not care about your feelings of trust and safety we are on a mission to save children from unsafe practises in education and health care. We don’t care about trauma. We are on the gender identity train — even when we oppose it we still love it. I did not receive a satisfactory explanation nor any satisfactory acknowledgment that this oversight created horrifying feelings for some people. What I did receive was a licensed professional DMing me to tell me she thought my tweeted concern made her look bad.

Oh, I’m sorry my trauma response took over I wasn’t thinking of how social media impressions would affect a helping professional in that moment, how thoughtless and selfish of me. #SarcasmAlert.

It’s fine. I have moved on. However it bears mentioning here because I think others have arrived at similar conclusions about Gender Critical based on their own evidence and experiences.

I will also add that those who care about the dignity + sanctity + safeguards of and for young people don’t violate them like this — by sharing their post-operative photos for shock jock points. Would you like this if it were your child or loved one? I see this outrage pornification of post-surgical photos of young people quite frequently from parents who have become extremely embedded in opposing the gender cult.

You know what this reminds me of?

Those who have a fetish for plastering post-surgical photos of vulnerable + emotionally disturbed young people and also mocking their expressed vulnerabilities in Twitter + YouTube posts — you remind me of ex-Muslims. Yes, you exhibit the same level of insensitivity, projected rage, reactionary polemics, and inability to engage in emotionally neutral and thoughtful dialogue. Ex-Muslims harbour deep and intense trauma and they act out and project onto practising Muslims. Because they were abused spiritually + emotionally + possibly beyond, by another Muslim—suddenly I need to carry that trauma baggage because I am a Muslim? Um, nah. It’s an ongoing menace Muslims deal with, and the right wing Muslim hating contingent loves to hook up with Ex-Muslims to join together in jizzing their hate all over Muslims. They call this fighting extremism, it’s purely self serving though. Gender critical feminists and parents behave like this, only American-style with graphic effects you ripped off from some young person². It is a form of abuse and I am tired of the polemics + psychological warfare.

So, I have learned that both sides of the gender war are disingenuous posers only pretending to care about women + children, we don’t care about that boring stuff when our narrative is at stake. We live in a world where individual safeguards are dispensable for important collective narratives. We live in a world where collective safeguards are dispensable for important individual narratives. Read that a few times.

The stories we tell matter more than the humans in the story.

So why are we still having this conversation about basic natural science in 2023? Because it serves a political + social + financial objective. Because women only matter when you all want to fuck them, watch them dance + sing, or when you want them to push your babies out of their vaginas. Because we are the empire builders. Because we build your warriors + geniuses. We give you heirs + access to untold wealth through marriage + childbirth. Otherwise we are just walking rest stops for penises to all of humanity. You want us to feed you + fcuk you. You don’t want to give us any humanity.

If it was important, the rights conflicts that gender identity and gender affirmation pose would be addressed by now. Evidence exists of a damaging rights conflict that’s harming female people. Evidence exists that gender affirmation is not going to help kids achieve embodied self awareness. Evidence exists that peer orientation culture has alienated us from ourselves and our core family unit. Peer orientation has made gender identity more welcoming to kids than parents. Parents decided to let TikTok and Tumblr raise their kids rather than spend time with them cultivating a primal human attachment. If you never forge an attachment with them, you don’t have influence to parent them and then their peers and school will do that. That is how gender identity crept in. The school counsellor transitioned the kid because the kid went to that adult and not to mum or dad. The issue is who does the child trust, and why isn’t it the parent? Maybe parents are shooting the messenger?

And still we pretend that making more films about the same thing and fan grrling over academics like Kathleen Stock and cozying up to Christian or any religious fascists will save us. And still we pretend hating men will save us. And still we are sending our kids to sh1tty schools with sh1tty curricula written by vapid emotionally stunted + childless activists because we love money more than our kids. Nafsi Nafsi. And still we pretend that fighting over a fcuking rainbow flag or keeping kids home from school for one day of action will help solve this sh1tty situation. We don’t want solutions we are angry and we want to act out and scream and kick sand into everyone’s eyes.

This is a giant collective temper tantrum. You all need a giant vat of jello and we can toss you all in and you can wrestle each other for social dominance in a vat of jello. You can pick the flavour even. I am so sick of this sh1t. Seven years now of adult tantrums pretending to be activism. Get on with it. Solve the puzzle!!!

You lot are not okay. Just saying. You act like a bunch of angry shrieking incoherent sh1t-flinging baboons. You are silly and performative.

And one more thing — I’m not buying any damn gender war merchandise — this is a human rights battle not a fcuking Comic-con. Oh, and I probably don’t care about your gender or conservative cult podcast - it bears no connection to material reality.

Attending the Boston Trauma Conference a couple weeks ago pulled me away from the precipice I so often find myself standing upon. A week of lectures + workshops about the neurophysiology of human behaviour + embodiment + the latest clinical findings for treatment modalities, all organised by Bessel van der Kolk’s foundation, reminded me that there is a whole world of emotionally balanced + intellectually stable + genuine + sociable humans out there, who aren’t obsessed with gender + identity culture + who can see the real underlying issues that drive society. Constructs won’t provide the answers. The answers are in front of us we just don’t like them very much.

The reason I no longer think of myself as gender critical is that it’s unnecessary make-believe. It seems quite clear we have an attachment and relational problem not anything to do with construct like gender. Relationship dynamics and attachment style drive everything happening between humans.

Finally one last thing. I’m curious — do progressives still think decolonisation and BLM when they see the reaction of Ugandan students to American progressivism? Are Ugandans committing white supremacy by opposing American progressivism? Maybe you mean Progressive Apostasy rather than White Supremacy? That makes you sound like a Wahhabist, doesn’t it? Well … if the shoe fits.

1. It is indeed anti-trans and anti-LGB legislation, and not pro-child or pro-safety or pro-female and you can see that from my spreadsheet.

2. Yes you are stealing from + violating the young person whose unclothed post surgical scarred body you have exhibited on your Twitter or YouTube feed for entertainment shock n awe purposes